there are times when the sunlight comes down and is buried in the ground like a seed hidden hope yet withholding its power as it waits for the hour of its need beauty fades in the world that surrounds as the shadows abound in the earth spirits ache and they groan in travail as they suffer the pale pain of birth orbital procession, spiraling ‘round the sun angular momentum, circling on and on optical dissonance, see what we cannot see singular genesis, pondering what we are there were times when the sunlight came down and was buried in the ground like a seed hope in bloom here unveiling its power we are reaching the hour of our need beauty shines like a flame from a spark beyond anything the dark would allow breaking through, in the darkness unfurled there is light in the world even now light wells

we don’t need the sun to shine on us artificial light is pure enough let the tower rise to never rust stand long after we return to dust there’s no reason to look to the sky all creation is condemned to die let the oceans rise up to our eyes ‘til holy fire comes to purify raise the shells in the name of seclusion self-made gods, enthroned in our own mind luminous spectacle against the skyline monument to our prideful kind archetype of a spiteful lie heaven’s in the sky, blacking out the sun ascension of the tide, the ending has begun in the hills we cannot hide, to the mountains we can’t run now hell is on the rise...oh God, what have we done?

light before us light behind us light beside us light beneath us light above us light around us light beyond us light within us

my God, my God, it’s all gone black my God, my God, i can’t go back “abomination”, they shriek and wail when i walk by if not with their mouths, still with their eyes as though i have subverted nature, as though i were not made this way an image - corrupted? - but aren’t we all? are we not called to glory all the same? am i not called “just as i am”? i am an amethyst in a world of sapphires and rubies i am a mystery to the ones who thought they knew me i am a heretic to the pure and pious body i am an amethyst but we all have the same flaws blood on their hands, hatred in their hearts, with no sense of shame twisted dogma, judgment justified, corruption of a name distant and bitter, i cannot pretend i am one of them anymore let the curse relent, heaven’s recompense i am an amethyst in a world of sapphires and rubies i am a heretic to the pure and pious body i am a mystery to the ones who thought they knew me i am an amethyst but we all reflect the same light we all have the same flaws but we all reflect the same light

tenuous faith in precarious stasis frail from agonizing consciousness hollow answers wracked by endless questions swirling paradox and contradiction attribution of imputed character doomed to destruction from the moment conceived assail the infinite with finite comprehension meaningless, the defeat attained fear of the unknowable, who has known His mind? mystery unsearchable, or lifespring to find? dancing with divinity, a prelude to a pratfall? total trust in what you see, can you see anything at all? blinded by the thirst for validation tragic amputation of the senses vacant eyes deny their occupation a cauterization of the spirit inside the picture of deity burns in a cloud of ashen smoke as an idol carved of wood and clay vanishing vapor ascends into the atmosphere a universe of discourse pitiably constrained divested omnipotence corrupts and collapses free will permitting our descent to captivity empty benevolence manifests in egoism seed of omniscience a long-lost memory (eyes to see, but they cannot see ears to hear, but they cannot hear) there’s a light of revelation shining but still we’re standing in the way it is standing at the threshold knocking but we’re not opening the gates there’s a truth beyond our desperate hope drowning under fictive stories that we tell yet they lift the flame to raze His name and the torches they bear light their way to hell

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there was a time when a man was confident standing firmly on his authority in denial of the consequence blinded by his own security the light of life yet dimly flickering snuffed by arrogance in autonomy yet still igniting, burning, sickening unrelenting in its agony everything changed when i began to see the light in everything... swallowed up in my own darkness dead and lonesome, cold and heartless at the moment i was farthest i heard Your voice call me righteous there You met me in my weakness and breathed hope into the lifeless being conformed to Your likeness all that’s left now is fear and brightness

i'm the queen of the fire! can you see the passion that i inspire? from afar, men watch and admire thinking i'll fulfill their every desire don't be shy to draw near step into the light and walk without fear i'm the one who brought the flame here and i've kept it burning ten thousand years come and carry the flame let it melt away your sorrow and shame when you hear the message that we proclaim you know that you never will be the same look me straight in the eye when i tell you that you're not gonna die and if you listen close then you might not even know you've swallowed the lie don't blink set my sights before your eyes don't think let my thoughts consume your mind don't speak my voice will provide the words (breathe...) feel like I'm wandering lost in the darkness and I've been searching for myself (think...) words disappearing into the noise as if I'm talking to myself (rage...) my mind is running away from its captor finally thinking for myself (speak...) i'm looking upward and not looking backward believing in myself child, i know there are others who tell you that our way is wrong they simply cannot see the vision the program we must carry on this is our world

kinetic impulse, artifact of inception, stirring deep within drawing the mind into the vast expanse of reality, beyond perception and perspicuity a radiance that blinds, invisible to the eye, inviting into its warmth the essence of everything, the energy inspiring the symphony of the stars aim for the sun, never bending our guilty minds unrelenting we’ve missed the mark, altered angles suffering with fallen angels consequence of defiance we’ve lost the light of guidance trapped in our own indifference we walk circles through the wilderness aim for the sun, never bending raise to the sky praise unending with every breath make me empty 'til shepherds’ gates grant me entry like light we fall in endless rays like particles becoming waves like life reborn we lift our souls like waves becoming particles

dust, lifeless dust, drowning in the waters called to arise, claiming its worth hands, fragile hands, groping in the darkness groan in travail, aching for birth drawn from the ground, molded by the potter earthen vessel for divine breath darkened mind susceptible to deception cursed with an endless lineage of death first to rise, first among the fallen bringing destruction for all time renewed life implies a new creation perfect promise, human redefined out of dust, into dust (error revealing) out of light, into dark (bearer of healing) I will pour out My spirit on all flesh (Anima) filling the lifeless mud with My own breath (inspiration) raising the firstborn from among the dead (adamah) I will pour out My spirit on all flesh (animation)

far across the vacant landscape, a restless farmer wanders sowing as he watches from his homestead, what he planted is not growing rising, he surveys the ground and finds it barren, as if sleeping patiently, he listens to the earth to hear its bitter weeping what has happened in my absence to my precious planted vineyard? selfish servants failed their tending, turning thought and focus inward without their cooperation, still my plan is moving forward what once was will be again when i renew my blessed orchard though the land be dead and fruitless, there is hope yet for its sighing where the birds flew, i built a scarecrow, arms outstretched to ward their flying where the rocks made soil shallow, i removed them from their sources where the thorns grew, i ripped them up and wove a crown out of their corpses i saw the stones buried in the ground, carved with images of faces proud clutched in a hand naught but bone, for life cannot sprout from stone i watched the vultures circle in the sky, revealing where the carrion lies where the bodies were taken away on the bloodstained rapture day i saw the chaff and the choking weeds, swallowing light with ruthless greed their fate is on the threshing floor to be trampled forevermore i watched the fields at first light, driving away the cloak of night the kernels that fell and were crushed began to reach out to the sun what will i do with your barren hearts? i will till and i’ll plow to turn over the ground what will i do with your fallow souls? i will sow and i’ll reap sixtyfold for my keep what will i do with your barren hearts? i will till and i’ll plow to turn over the ground what will i do with your fallow souls? i will sow and i’ll reap a hundredfold for my keep

i wear the lion’s mane, i grin and bare my teeth a captivating mask with nothing underneath i am the angel of light in this masquerade with open arms they welcome my charade i have a host of slaves among the righteous ones my heart swelled with pride when they were called my sons to the one who bows, i offer everything i hold the power of death, come and feel its sting i have come from roving back and forth across the land i am the new god who devours sacrifice i fill hearts with deceit and greed, ‘til disciples are struck dead i am the lawless one, worker of wonders and weaver of lies i speak with silver tongue, drunk deep on blood and gold i take their guilt away and return it sevenfold i turned those rivers to blood and i rained down frogs from the sky i wear the lion’s mane and i’ll stalk you ‘til you die but i, even i, shudder in fear when the Holy One draws near i feel the burn of eternal flame at the mention of His name i set the world against his plan, had my soldiers kill the man and i tore my flesh on that day when He walked out of His grave

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naked - nakedness exposed nothing - naught in which to boast crawling - crawling to the flame burning - burn away my name dying - death for all my pride living - life of sacrifice offering - offering my soul letting - letting go of hope in myself, there is no salvation i cannot drag this soul to heaven in myself, there is no power to redeem yet this weakness is stronger than it seems inside the fire i reside because Your spirit there abides remember not the empty days, letting the holy fill me my will turned over here to die, my stubborn heart to sanctify surrender to the searing light, seeking my life will kill me count the cost, knowing what i’ll suffer from now on, cast no gaze on the life of the former turn around and run, escaping the sulfur desolate black ash rains, the past is darker than fire all in now, can’t look back once i enter extirpate the dross, refining like silver purified and whole, peaceful at my center finding rest, residence on the altar

rise above the skies, fill this day with Your splendor like sunlight baptize and sanctify all Your children transformed from death to life blessed with righteousness, separate us from sin as east from west enthroned in holiness, still You hear us when we cry out to You and when our desolation dominates your presence elevates i will awaken the dawn, and call Your spirit across the waters and the skies i will resolve in my soul to never falter because Your faithfulness is near i will make melodies resonate emotion, beyond the mountains and the plains i will awaken the dawn, and never quiet until the world exalts Your name must i ascend to the heavens to call Your glory down? we need more than a pillar of fire, more than a looming cloud when we wander far from rivers of life even the rock will give us water with a strike bread from heaven for the starving You provide i will awaken the dawn, and call Your spirit across the waters and the skies i will resolve in my soul to never falter because Your faithfulness is near i will make melodies resonate emotion, beyond the mountains and the plains i will awaken the dawn, and never quiet until the world exalts Your name

one shot of tequila when i wake up a little liquor is less expensive than hard drugs do what it takes to keep this face numb synthetic emotional evasion i’d rather sit in silence and play dumb than have to walk through life wearing makeup ceramic smile to show off a fake love pathetic deceptive creation i can hold my liquor, hold my liquor got a hold on my liquor (and my liquor's got a hold on me) i can’t put my finger on the thing that keeps me up at night i look in this mirror, in this mirror and it all seems no clearer (no one’s looking back at me) i see too much color in a picture that should be black and white tears on a grave i feel the condemnation of a soul i could not save years as a slave crippled with regret i’ve just been wasting away look me in the eyes, we both know i am the one who should have died what will you say when you see me on the other side? one shot of tequila when i wake up maybe someday my eyelids will stay shut

behold this city, wrought by human hands forty days and it should all be gone against all justice, Nineveh stands a blemish on the face of a vengeful God this truth has burned my soul since the coming of His word that repentance would preclude His holy plan my fury swells at compassion so absurd i reject this grace, prophecy be damned i went my own way (carve my path out of the night) fleeing on the waves (occultation from Your sight) driven back, Your storm took hold of me i could not escape hopelessness i gave (countdown to catastrophe) to a city depraved (paradigm iniquity) terrified, they turned their backs on me crying to be saved execution stayed (contrition annulling wrath) by this mockery of faith (circumvented aftermath) why should You defile Your character with this act of grace? i won’t be Your slave (power and pity at Your whim) i am not afraid (slay me now instead of them) let Your blazing light fall down on me i’ll dwell in the shade wretched man, is it your place to twitch and writhe in anger? who made you the arbiter of damnation and mercy? ever hope remains for those who abdicate their evil condemnation falls upon what is, but not what must be shade you tended not became delight until abated raging at the loss of this ephemeral provision I have watched the rise and fall of all I have created how your heart would burst were it reopened to this vision

we can’t escape our past mistakes the sun, the rain touch every face (grace is wider than the sky) where cursed or blessed You bring Your rest (still His patience covers all) thus in my shame i must confess... (someday we will understand...) (...that we are all the same)

does it make you feel safe, knowing you can come home? when you’re leaving behind everything that you’ve known? all the memories that you can never forget will they haunt your dreams with the fear of regret? does it make you feel sick, knowing you’re all alone? do you tremble and shake, with a chill in your bones? are you losing the will to get up and press on? now that everything’s lost and everyone’s gone? all i’ve ever wanted, all that i desired, laid down at my feet i took my future into my hands, following my own plans, thinking i was free (self-made captivity) now i lay my weary head down on the dirty ground, no sign of shelter (wandering in a desert) once i gorged on bread and wine, now i long to eat like swine, dying of hunger (fill my stomach with dirt) my tongue’s as dry as cotton, and i’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to really live (taste of living water) is it too late to return, cross the bridges that i’ve burned, to the one who can forgive (the arms of my father) i remember everything reminiscence sickening nostalgia nausea

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i. asteres planetai a flickering multitude piercing through blackest night erratic and chaotic patterns of sidereal light like a moth drawn in despite impending fate terrible transient glimmer of pyrite, false grace irresistible (path of Cain) twisting the arms of fate, shift its shape with violence (Balaam’s error) gazing upon the gleam, temporal affinity (Korah’s rebellion) seeking divinity, rejection of created order the seas are sick with reefs to breach the hull before the shore is found the land thirsts beneath the ghastly shade of waterless clouds the beggars choke on breathless pleas offered at the feet of fruitless trees beneath a gibbous light we lose our way tossed about by wild waves we are following the course of the wayward stars asking all the questions of who we are following the course of the wayward stars finding who we are ii. cloud of darkness lower the sails, this storm is battering patch up the cracks, this ship is shattering fear in the air, the souls are scattering riding Poseidon’s wake swear i can feel the earth shake summon your courage, spare your cowardice all of your lives have led you up to this driven, if not by fame, then avarice Thaumas in rage, salacious thirsty for blood berates us darkness surrounds with fog mysterious venturing toward the grave of Nereus captain and crew appear delirious if we don’t find a way through we’re never gonna see blue skies or a sunset over home again nevertheless, we are the chosen men pull it together, we are stronger than what any sea can send us thunder and rain won't end us we’re on our way through a cloud of darkness we’re heading into the storm we’re on our way through a cloud of darkness we’re gonna have to press on iii. oligopistides each moment the storm grows darker clutched to our chests, all that we cherish whipped about by a whirlwind certain that we will perish like a little child, i close my eyes and pretend this allows me to hide daddy, daddy, why are you sleeping when i need you by my side? why did we start this journey when we knew such a tempest loomed? the ocean which has borne us now intends to be our doom in isolated terror i seek vain sanctuary then comes a calm serenity if only momentary ye of little faith, how can i save you? iv. 40 years friend, i couldn’t help but notice you look a little hopeless i hope this mopiness isn’t a consequence of your dopiness forgive my intervention, i assure you i’ve only the best intentions now that i have your attention, i feel compelled to mention you might desire to retire that uninspiring attire you’re a man of many miles but no smiles to show for it if my wiles can transform your lifestyle, i say go for it you can ignore my advances, but there may be no more chances so i implore you to consider your finances you’ve come for comfort but come up wanting a fearful feeling your soul is haunting it’s truer than true, though it might seem funny, you just can’t top the bright gleam of money oh yeah, money ahh, there’s nothing like the smell, and the touch, and the taste it’s a waste to see such a nice fellow depressed but i stress what i tell you, so much trust misplaced just replace your old crutch with a well-stocked account it’ll turn your life around, make your life abound sweep you off the ground with its joyous sound you won’t be wont to recount your woes when your portfolios hold more gold than you can count! just twelve easy steps and you’ll be on your way for twelve easy payments, but really it pays for itself ten times over, with the health and wealth you’re destined for prosperity preserve none for posterity improve your popularity donate a bit to charity the pinnacle of purity of safety and security smoother than silk sweeter than honey all the world revolves around money that’s right, money don’t be deceived by trashy lies the grand illusion of flashing lights open your third eye, expand your mind by gazing into the transfinite let constellations be the focus of your eyes celestial luminaries, your faithful guides release your aura that you’ve held so tight project the astral body and watch the skies the end is coming, of this we know complete disruption of the status quo we read the prophecies the stars foretold a cryptic message behind the glow but all is clear to us, we’ve cracked the code don’t miss the meaning of the signs they show the heights of wisdom sent to us below where they have been, we can never go i feel your disconnection, your troubles and your trials you seek an end to suffering and pain the answer is not inward, nor upward, nor outward to search in these directions is in vain the spirit of the truth is in the roses and the rainbows the lights in the sky and seedlings in the ground the key to life is all the life revealed in nature the answer that you need is all around take me deep into the heart of the sunrise ‘round about the south side of the sky close to the edge of the gates of delirium cannot wait to be over this life then, we will rise at the dance of the dawn standing high like giants under the sun and you and i will awaken to discover we have heaven in every little thing v. asteres mysterioi where can i go from Your spirit? where from Your face can i flee? in the highest of heights You are there in the darkest of depths You are there were i to rise on the wings of the dawn to sail away to the edge of the sea still i would fall in the palm of Your hand still i would find myself held in Your grasp vi. godless heaven hey brother i’ve got news for you about your life no other messenger can tell you what i can hush! silence...can you hear the sound she sings sweetly discover all you ever dreamed can be your reality come! welcome to our paradise, pure perfection all reason, flawless and pristine, exact science ideal implementation of high logic revealing all the mysteries of our universal dream sensory overload, where am i? i cannot believe this island kingdom fabricated by the brightest for the best crystalline towers stretch as high as the eye can perceive paradigm of harmony, a place to find some peace and rest don’t be concerned about the secrets that we keep the machinations that sustain us while we sleep our light dissimulates the darkness in the deep emotions cauterized so we don’t have to weep there’s something strange about the citizens of this utopia mindless homogeny, discordance met with a collective grief a silent qualm beneath the calm façade of their euphoria a grim machine to obviate all individual belief we built this city as a cenotaph for fate to mute the testimony of a cosmic faith the blood of dissidents this thirsty ground will sate and you will join them if you stand in the way what of identity? you can’t succeed in suffocating souls you are no better than automata, deterministic drive this illusory paradise is no glimmering diamond, it’s black as coal i must be free of it if i am to remain truly alive vii. choir of echoes an overwhelming revelation the genesis of restoration a harmony for all creation all creatures in their right relation a refuge from the devastation a home for every tribe and nation a song to sing with adoration eternal peace without cessation a truth beyond the wildest fiction complete and without contradiction a pure and resolute conviction from One with holy jurisdiction to save His children from affliction to break the bondage of addiction to lead them out in benediction to liberty without restriction a tingle to excite the senses a clarity through darkened lenses a freedom that the light dispenses a mercy that forgives offenses a haven for the poor defenseless a wisdom that invites the senseless a kingdom built without defenses a love that moves without pretenses beyond the scope of human vision constructed not of man’s decision a unity without division where needs are met with sure provision the sick are healed, the dead are risen the promised hope of true religion without the trappings of tradition the fountainhead of pure volition home, bring me home home, bring us home viii. edge of the earth (we come now to a place which to all listeners should easily appear we bid you close your eyes and picture there your greatest fear the grimmest fate is when you find yourself unable to be what you’re meant to be imagine, then, the sailor’s horror at the sight of no more sea…) this...this is the end there’s nowhere left for us to flee our journey has failed we never found our destiny but maybe this world isn’t the world that was meant to be i have yet seen deep in my dreams, a new reality enough! you dare speak of dreams? go back to sleep and tell me when your ideas cross over into the realm of men fantasies come and go but we are in no place to pretend that there’s any hope it’s all come to this...this is the end we found the limit of the everlasting ocean a fatal obstacle to our persistent motion the boats that brought us here can’t take us any farther instead of heroes, they’ll remember us as martyrs we have blasphemed the names of sacred faith and science one or the other comes to punish our defiance o, do you hear the knell of that returning thunder? the stars that held our hands now deign to pull us under we sought salvation from tyrannical oppression abandoning the ways restricting our progression immortal empire we raised and spread together yet here we find ourselves no better off than ever we dance the line between our slavery and freedom maintain a balance of two contradicting kingdoms afraid to sacrifice our temporal desires we chase the wind until the moment we expire and so we sway (back and forth and back and forth and…) walking on the unbroken line cycling through death and rebirth holding to a moment in time falling off the edge of the earth ix. aster proïnon / light of the Morning Star hey! are you awake? you’ve been out for so long i thought you might be gone safe we’re drifting on the waves the storm has passed us by but there’s no end in sight look! a star shines in the distance a luminous persistence a goal for us to seek though we row with desperation toward this invitation the light we cannot reach look! the star descends from heaven from our horizon beckons it surely begs us home still our exercise is fruitless the ocean’s waves are ruthless we’ll sink here like a stone look! the light is drawing closer our hopelessness is over we’ll soon be back on land wait! it walks upon the water it calls us son and daughter and takes us by the hand out upon the sea He leads us from ruin He has freed us to bring us onto shore home, where darkness is defeated and at the gates we’re greeted with light forevermore with life forevermore we are following the course of the morning star finding all the answers of who we are following the course of the morning star this is who we are